Query Letters That Get Requests: What Agents Actually Want to See

The One-Page Sales Pitch

Your novel took two years to write. Your query letter needs to sell it in about 250 words—roughly one minute of reading time. In that minute, an agent decides whether to request pages or move on to the next of the 200+ queries they’ll receive this week.

No pressure.

The good news: query letters have a structure. Once you understand what agents are looking for, you can craft a query that works.

The Query Letter Formula

The Hook (1-2 sentences)

Your opening line should grab attention. This is your elevator pitch—the reason an agent should keep reading rather than skip to the next query.

Effective hooks often:

• Introduce your protagonist and their defining characteristic
• Establish the central conflict or dilemma
• Create a question that demands an answer

“When sixteen-year-old Maya discovers she can hear the thoughts of the dead, she thinks she’s losing her mind—until the ghosts start asking her to solve their murders.”

The Story Summary (150-200 words)

This is the meat of your query—a focused summary of your story’s setup and central conflict. Think of it as your book’s back cover copy.

Include:

• The protagonist: Name, key characteristics, what they want
• The inciting incident: What disrupts their world
• The central conflict: What stands in their way
• The stakes: What they stand to lose
• The choice: What impossible decision do they face?

Don’t include:

• The ending (leave agents wanting more)
• Subplots (keep focus on the main story)
• Too many character names (3-4 max, usually just the protagonist)
• World-building details (unless essential to understanding the conflict)

The Metadata (2-3 sentences)

After your story summary, include:

• Title, genre, and word count
• Comp titles (books your manuscript is similar to)
• Brief author bio (relevant credentials only)

“THE SILENT WITNESSES is a YA paranormal mystery, complete at 78,000 words. It will appeal to readers who loved the small-town secrets of The Lovely Bones and the teen detective voice of One of Us Is Lying.”

The Sign-Off

Professional closing. Thank them for their time. Include your contact information.

What Agents Actually Want to See

Voice

Your query letter is a writing sample. If your voice doesn’t come through, agents assume it won’t come through in the manuscript either. Don’t write a bland, generic query—let your personality and writing style shine.

Stakes

What happens if your protagonist fails? The answer needs to matter. “The world will end” is big but vague. “Maya will have to live with the knowledge that she could have saved her sister” is personal and specific.

Uniqueness

What makes your book different from the hundreds of similar queries agents receive? The familiar-with-a-twist approach works well: “It’s [familiar concept] meets [unexpected element].”

Marketability

Agents need to sell your book to publishers. Your query should make clear where your book fits in the market. Comp titles help; so does a clear genre designation.

Common Query Mistakes

Starting with Rhetorical Questions

“What would you do if you discovered you could read minds?”

Agents have read thousands of queries starting this way. It’s not engaging—it’s generic. Start with your character and their specific situation instead.

Too Much Plot

Your query shouldn’t summarize the whole book—it should entice agents to read the book. Focus on setup and conflict; leave the resolution for them to discover in the manuscript.

Too Much World-Building

Fantasy and sci-fi writers often spend half their query explaining the magic system or future history. Agents want to know about characters and conflict, not mechanics. Only include world-building details essential to understanding the stakes.

Vague Stakes

“She must find the courage to face her destiny.”

What destiny? What happens if she doesn’t? Vague stakes create no urgency. Make the consequences concrete and personal.

Telling Instead of Showing

“This is a heart-pounding thriller that readers won’t be able to put down.”

Let the query demonstrate that your book is thrilling—don’t just claim it. The pitch itself should be compelling.

Comp Titles: Choosing Wisely

Comparison titles help agents understand your book’s position in the market. Choose wisely:

Do use:

• Books from the past 5 years
• Books in your genre
• Books that were commercially successful (but not phenomena like Harry Potter)
• Books that share specific elements with yours

Don’t use:

• Massive bestsellers (comparing to Harry Potter looks naive)
• Very old books (classics don’t show market awareness)
• Books from different genres
• Movies or TV shows (though one as a secondary comp can work)

Format: “[Title] meets [Title]” or “[Title] with the [element] of [Title]”

Personalization

Should you personalize queries? Briefly, yes. One sentence showing why you’re querying this specific agent:

• They represent books similar to yours
• They expressed interest in your genre at a conference
• They have a wishlist item that matches your book

Don’t overdo it. A short personalized sentence shows research; a long paragraph looks desperate.

The Author Bio

Include only relevant credentials:

• Previously published work (if any)
• Writing degrees or awards
• Relevant professional experience (a doctor writing medical thriller, etc.)
• Platform (if significant)

No publication credits? Keep it brief: “This is my first novel.” Then focus on what you do have.

Before You Send

Research the Agent

Follow submission guidelines exactly. If they want the query only, send only the query. If they want the first 10 pages pasted below, paste them. Nothing signals “amateur” like ignoring submission requirements.

Get Feedback

Query letters benefit from critique. Writing communities, query critique forums, and Twitter events like #PitMad can help you refine your pitch.

Track Your Submissions

Use a spreadsheet to track: agent name, agency, date queried, response requested, response received. This helps you avoid accidental double-querying and understand your response patterns.

The Numbers Game

Most queries receive rejections. This is normal—agents can only take a few new clients per year from hundreds of queries. A rejection doesn’t mean your book is bad; it means this wasn’t the right match.

Query in batches. Send to 10-15 agents, evaluate responses, revise if needed, then send the next batch. This approach lets you improve your query based on feedback without burning through your entire list.

A well-crafted query doesn’t guarantee representation, but it dramatically improves your odds. Invest the time to get it right—it’s your book’s first impression, and in publishing, first impressions matter.